


wake up (smell the roses)

by notyouricon



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Aesthetics, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Character Study, Felix is smol becuz i said so, Han Jisung | Han & Lee Felix are Best Friends, Height Differences, Lee Felix & Seo Changbin are Best Friends, Lee Felix (Stray Kids) is a Sweetheart, Lee Felix (Stray Kids)-centric, Literature, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Lee Felix/Seo Changbin - Freeform, Past Relationship(s), Pastel!Felix, Pining, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Pre-Poly, Rocker!Chan, Soft Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Sophisticated!Woojin, The Author Regrets Nothing, basically i'm writing a soap opera, everyone ships woochan, lots of love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2019-10-26 17:33:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17750369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notyouricon/pseuds/notyouricon
Summary: system; noun: the part of the universe on which we wish to focus attention.felix’s system consists of two people, woojin and chan, the couple that is always just out of reach.featuring pining!felix and a lot of odd aesthetics(alternately titled the first law of thermodynamics)





	1. un (an overview)

**Author's Note:**

> so this is a fic i've been wanting to do for a very long time, i've been planning sporadically since like september of 2018 for this,, so here it is. 
> 
> updates will be random and far between.
> 
> as always, with love, julian. <33.

felix is like any other literature and journalism student, he writes and writes and writes some more. he always has a pen and a notebook, ready to jot down whatever comes to mind. often enough, it's about his friends, about minho or changbin, or how jisung and hyunjin blamed all the cafeteria's missing spoons on seungmin and jeongin. but usually, it's about chan and woojin. how they look together, how they whisper in each other's ears, how their hands seem specially crafted to fit perfectly together. he writes them. purely and with no boundaries, he lets his pen say the things he cannot, allows the ink to bleed with jealousy and envy. and waits for his hand to cramp so that he doesn't have to face the words. 

 

chan is not what you'd expect of a pre-law major, he wears leather jackets, he listens to music that's way too loud. but he can also list laws and regulations faster than you could say 'butterscotch pudding'. he watches and he laughs and he is so bright even with his dark clothes. the way that he smiles breaks hearts and if the way half the student body is in love with him and the other half wants to be him says anything well then, who is he to contradict it? he likes to push himself, sometimes way too far but it's okay because the other boys will always be there to catch him. they will hold him up and give him wings. and when he looks to the future, he sees himself standing, surrounded by those who love him, and he couldn't be happier. 

 

woojin kim is not predictable, no matter what people think. he wears soft browns and high necks and layers and is comfortable and familiar. people wouldn't expect him to be so stubborn, but maybe they should. he is a bioethics and chemistry major after all. he fights for what he thinks is a worthy cause, and if he breaks a few hearts in the process? so what? if you asked anyone they would say that he is one of the scariest members of the debate team, that he can tear down an opponent with one rebuttal and a couple of statistics so sound that no one can find any evidence to refute them. but underneath the strong and diamond-like exterior lays a heart of gold, always shining brightly through when he laughs or when he finds something to say to make everything feel just right. 

 

chan bang and woojin kim. boyfriends since the summer between their freshmen and sophomore year of college. everyone thinks that despite the dramatic differences, they work. they balance each other so perfectly it almost hurts to see them look so sweetly at each other. they take care of each other and the rest of the boys because they are a family and insist on acting like one, from dinners together at least once a week to near-daily check-ins, they truly care for all those around them. no one can deny that they belong together, it just is right and there's no other explanation for it. they fit and they are so glad that they do. 

 

*`*`*`*`*

 

extra facts:

          chan bang;

green tea with honey or iced americanos with sugar and some cream.  whipped.  organized chaos.  mock trial and debate club.

 

          woojin kim;

vanilla chai lattes or hot coffee with three sugars and no cream.  also whipped.  never a mess unless you catch him at two in the morning during finals week.  blazers and turtlenecks.  strong opinions.  debate club and student leadership club.  responsible.  observer.  organized.

 

          felix lee;

strawberry milk or iced caramel macchiatos.  writes journals about the boys.  runs an anonymous poetry blog.  minimalistic.  photography club and dance club.  laughs loud talks soft.  


	2. deux (prologue)

he fell in love with the little things like the way chan's hair would curl in the summer humidity. or how woojin would drink his tea with a spoonful of honey. the impossible way that chan could jot down a poem in less than two minutes but struggled to perform basic math. how woojin would throw his head back and shut his eyes when he laughed at jisung. the way chan's fingers fit perfectly with woojin's, how the sunlight would stream in through the window of the library, as the pair stared lovingly at each other. it broke felix's heart, he loved them, but he could never have them. not when they were happy without him.

he hated the longing look he caught in his reflection, wished that there was some way for him to stop feeling because he didn't want to hurt anybody. he could never hurt somebody. but his heart ached and his legs burned when he pushed himself too far in the studio just trying to forget for just a minute about the existence of angels and the perfection that he saw when their twin shadows crept up in his peripheral vision. Tried to shoo away the feelings with shaking fingers and breathless lungs. Attempting to get rid of the clouds over his head felt impossible and he knew that they would never really see him how he wanted them to.

he was just the surroundings, taking in what they gave off and hoping it'd be enough to warm his soul and light up his heart. 

but woojin had once called felix endothermic and exothermic, a walking anomaly, a perfect contradiction. taking in energy and life from those around him and putting it back out for the whole world to see, to feel, to know.


	3. trois

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaa i'm so happy to be able to finally post this first chapter! all the love and thanks go to myano, for being absolutely wonderful and supportive and being an amazing test reader! thank you, lovely!
> 
> as always, with lots of love. julian. <33.

The crisp autumn air greeted Felix as he stepped out of the campus library, gently pushing his hair out of his face, the breeze swirled around, whisking leaves up off the ground and across the courtyard. Tugging his sweater sleeves further down his wrists, Felix adjusts his backpack mentally reviewing the things he had just gone over with his tutor. How equilibrium worked, how to calculate it, it wasn’t that he disliked chemistry, he enjoyed it as much as one could enjoy such a thing, but it was difficult, he had trouble remember formulas and concepts and doing the math was just a pain. Pushing his earbuds in, Felix taps at his phone screen, starting up the song next on shuffle and starting the walk across campus to meet his best friend, Changbin.

Changbin was easily one of the people he was closest to at university, it helped that during Felix’s freshman year, and Changbin’s sophomore year, they dated. For almost ten months, they had skirted around each other before Jisung had intervened, setting them up on a blind date. They had gone out steadily for the rest of that semester, and for the semester after that as well. About halfway into the summer, things started to fade away in a sense. They eventually sat down one day and ended up talking things out, deciding that they would be better off friends. So here they were, closer than ever and practically inseparable.

Opening the door to Niche Café, Felix spots the junior, sat in their standard corner next to the window, sunlight streaming in from outside. Dropping his things down into the booth, Felix gives the older boy a lazy grin, pulling out one of the earbuds to give a soft greeting. “Hey, Binnie, I’m going to order my drink really quick, don’t let anyone take my spot!” He gave a teasing wink at the end of his sentence, catching the small grin and shake of the head that Changbin gave him.

Walking up to the counter, Felix taps his small fingers against the lacquered surface, the soft pink polish glinting in under the lights. He waits for the barista to finish up patiently, ordering his own strawberry latte quietly, and slipping the card over to pay. With his order in, Felix heads back to his place, flopping down next to his backpack and setting his phone onto the table. This was the usual routine, Felix would get out of his tutoring session on Tuesday at about 3:00 in the afternoon, he’d walk over to the café and join Changbin, who would have just gotten out of his music theory lecture. They’d meet, have a couple of drinks, do some homework, and occasionally a friend or two would join them.

About fifteen minutes after Felix’s drink was called, the pair was joined by one Jisung Han, full of seemingly endless energy and holding a steaming vanilla chai latte in his hand. Taking up the spot next to Felix and slinging an arm around the younger— by less than a day— male, it was at times like these where he would decide to give his friend strange or competitive dares, which Felix never had the heart to back down from. The last time he had said no, the older boy had pouted at him, calling him “no fun” and “boring”. Needless to say, it didn’t take long for him to agree to wear those damned heels to class next Tuesday, he didn’t regret it, it gave him the couple of centimeters he needed to be about as tall as his roommate.

“And just how are my two favorite people doing on this,” He paused for a second, glancing out the window, “fine afternoon?” Jisung said, voice a little too loud for Changbin’s taste, and the oldest of the trio just rolled his eyes. It wasn’t for no reason that their friend group had nicknamed Felix and Jisung "The Twins". They even had the same hair color at one point during freshman year. They thought the same, were nearly the exact same age, if for a couple of hours difference. And Felix, being just a few centimeters shorter than his counterpart, would often borrow Jisung’s clothes when he slept over. They chattered back and forth, exchanging stories and trying to one-up each other before the inevitable dare of the week was put forward.

“I dare you, Felix Lee, to wear something other than pastels for the next week,” Jisung stated, smirking triumphantly. Felix wasn’t fazed, he just smiled, time to break out the older clothes in his wardrobe, he knew they’d come in handy. Already he was planning the next week’s outfits.

“Easy enough, I accept.” The challenge in his eyes glinted, lighting up his whole face, he couldn’t even remember when they started doing this, but it gave the pair something to look forward to and to motivate them for the week. For a moment, or two, or three, they stared at each other, silently communicating. It happened so often nowadays, but it still took some of the others by surprise how they were shockingly in sync for not seeing each other more than an hour or two each day. They were so locked into each other’s gaze that they hardly noticed that they were joined by another pair of their friends, the only actual couple of their friend group.

“Woah there, twin telepathy much?” Woojin teased, ruffling Felix’s hair lightly as he sat down next to Changbin, lightly shoving the man over so that Chan could sit as well. Felix could feel his cheeks turn slightly pink, of all people to crush on, it just had to be Woojin. Of all people to crush on, it just had to be Chan. Woojin and Chan, dating since the summer after their freshman year. Woojin and Chan, perfect together. Woojin and Chan, the power couple that no one could imagine breaking up. Felix’s phone buzzed on the table, and he picked it up to check the message.

 **Sunggie:** tone it down loverboy, you’re really obvious

 **Lixie:** shUT UP OMG

Felix’s face flushed further, but he just pulled his knees to his chest, scrunching himself up and digging into the backpack to try and hide his blush. Tucking his head into the crook of his knees after pulling out a battered book, he observes the others at the table. Chan and Woojin, hands laced together as they discussed something with Changbin, Jisung making faces at Felix’s best friend, all of them laughing. It was almost too good to be true. The way the light shone on Chan’s face, filtering through the slight curl in his bangs, Woojin with his smile and how he brushed crumbs off the table in front of him to lay out a piece of paper. They looked like honey in the sunlight, all tan skin, and soft edges.

After sitting for an hour or so at the café, the group decides to go their separate ways, Changbin heading off to his night class, Woojin and Chan off to the cafeteria for actual dinner, Jisung had to go to work at the computer repair shop near the dormitories. Felix went off on his own, ready to crack down and get a few assignments out of the way. He had an essay over Henry David Thoreau, and a couple of research assignments about some assigned news articles. Unlocking the door to his shared dorm room, Felix sighs, letting his bag swing down off his shoulder. Seungmin was already sitting at his desk, laptop open and a paper halfway typed on the screen. An essay that Felix would probably end up proofreading later if he assumed correctly.

Collapsing onto his bed Felix stared at the ceiling for a moment, gathering up the willpower to do the homework. He had to turn it at some point, might as well get it done before it’s due right? That’s what he told himself, trying to find the motivation to do anything at all. Sitting up quickly, he looks at his drawers, he could pick out tomorrow’s outfit and then do a bit of his essay. That would work.

Digging around through the clothes to find something that wasn’t pastel proved a bit difficult, eventually he found a pair of ripped up skinny jeans, faded in some stretches of the fabric, and a plaid flannel which would look decent over one of his older t-shirts. Folding the clothes, he set them down on top of the dresser, throwing a choker onto the pile as well, setting shoes on the floor by his bed. There, now Jisung couldn’t claim he didn’t attempt the dare, there was no trace of anything pastel in that pile. Felix could easily remember the year during high school when he never wore any of the pastel colors he wore now, his style had been so different. He was just disappointed that he had decided not to bring his leather jacket this year, it would’ve been so cute.

Settling down at his desk, the small boy tugs out his laptop and a couple of folders. As much as he adored writing, he’d much rather do his own thing instead of all the informational essays that seemed to be required of him. But he does them anyway, oftentimes typing more than necessary, even if he hates the topic. He did the extra credit, he worked on the assignments harder than was needed. He wasn’t top of his class, but he was good at what he did. He took all the required seminars, attended every class, and even worked at the local bookstore. Which was where he had to be tomorrow morning, and then off to a lecture, and then his chemistry lab.

It was at some point after eleven that Seungmin tapped on his shoulder, tugging out one of the older boy’s earbuds. “Hey, Lix, we should probably go to bed, right?” The younger of the pair murmured softly, “It’s getting late, we both have early mornings tomorrow.”

Felix nodded, “Yeah, I’m just going to go brush my teeth and change then. Then I’ll get to bed, don’t worry, Minnie.”


	4. quatre

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'alls! i'm back with more of this au for you guys! pls enjoy and lemme know what you think!
> 
> with love as always, julian. <33.
> 
> and again,,, probs always gonna say this,,, thank you so much to my test reader, myano!

Felix slipped through the door to the small hole in the wall store, the small bell above the door ringing with the movement. Walking further into the establishment, Felix called out a quick greeting as he flips the sign on the door to “OPEN”. The sound of his footsteps echoed through the shop as he made his way to the back room, where a light shone softly out of the doorway.

“Minho? You here?” Felix said, voice hushed as he poked his head in. The boy who looked up from the stack of papers on the table smiled sleepily at the blond, lips flicking up at the corners as he nodded.

“Been here for an hour or so, the stacks are pretty organized now. So, you can just worry about the counter and I’ll take care of stock?” The older boy said, tilting his head slightly as Felix stepped into the room fully, setting his backpack down by the small bench. “Oh wow, are you good, Lix? You aren’t as colorful as usual.” The concern in his eyes took Felix by surprise, he didn’t realize how much of a shock the change might be for his friends.

“No, no. Nothing’s going bad, it’s just the weekly dare from Sung, I can’t wear pastels until Tuesday.” Felix explained, slightly rushed so as not to cause his coworker anymore worry. It had been odd, getting dressed and not seeing any soft blues, pinks, or yellows mixed in. He didn’t feel like himself, but the change might be nice for a little while, just something new, to mix things up.

“Ah, I see. Well, it looks nice. You have excellent taste.”

“Yeah, these are actually pretty old, they’re from like my sophomore year of high school?”

Minho looks up shaking hair out of his eyes, “Didn’t peg you for that type, but I suppose we all had our days.” They get to work after that, Felix managing the counter, talking to whatever people come in, ringing up their purchases and occasionally throwing a new record onto the player. Minho makes his way around the stacks, making sure everything was perfectly in its place. This was the standard workday, they both had the things they were good at, Felix had a knack for hitting it off well with people and talking, Minho could see even the littlest detail and was highly organized, always ready to right something that was wrong.

Come to think of it, Minho was the first person who noticed that Felix had a crush, not Jisung or Changbin, but Minho. Because he noticed everything and made sure to recognize the facts. That and Minho heard a lot of the campus gossip, he did have a lot of friends.

 

“Yo, Lix! How’s it going?” The greeting came from somewhere down the sidewalk, and Felix paused mid-stride, looking behind him for the source of the cheerful words. Eventually, Minho caught up, throwing an arm casually around Felix’s shoulders, “Let’s talk boys.” As he was led into the cafeteria, Felix was astonished, his coworker, technically his friend by now wanted to talk boys. Yeah, Felix was gay, yeah, he was out, but talking boys, with Minho? Now that was just weird.

They grabbed their food and ended up sitting in one of the far corners of the large hall. Nibbling on a piece of lettuce, Felix listened to Minho go on and on about seemingly endless topics for at least fifteen minutes before— “So, you like Chan? And Woojin? Right?”

Choking on the water he had taken a sip of Felix gasped at the sudden topic change. He stared wide-eyed at the boy in front of him, the wide eyes and mischievous smile peering into his heart. “Uh, yeah? Kinda? It probably won’t last long though, they are dating.” His response is stuttered, catching on his tongue as he attempts to come up with the best words to explain things. It wasn’t that he wanted to like the couple, they just kind of drew him in, like magnets. He was positive that the crush would fade, which was wishful thinking. They were too kind and close to him for the feelings to just disappear. Besides, it was wrong of Felix to like people who were already in a relationship, he would just mess up the whole dynamic they had going already, right?

“Really now? Very interesting.”

 

Felix was shaken out of his trip down memory lane by Minho, flipping the sign on the door to read “CLOSED”, the last customer had just left, and they were being let off work. Following through with routine, Felix sticks the customer logs into the file folder underneath the counter, locking up the register one last time, and cleaning up the little area he kept behind the till.

Making his way into the back room, Felix runs a hand through his hair, adjusting the flannel to hang a little of his shoulders as he picks up his backpack. “Ready for dinner, Min?”

When the elder nods, Felix flicks off the light, guiding them to the front of the store and locking up. They step out onto the sidewalk, the slight breeze whisking leaves all around their ankles.

“God, I’m so hungry,” Minho whined, throwing an arm around Felix’s shoulders as they set off to the dining hall. The pavement was uneven beneath Felix’s feet, bumpy and cracked and worn down by feet that walked this path every day on their way to a lecture or a class or a lab or work or a meal with their friends. It was moments like these where Felix wished he could just stop time, take it all in and just let the moment be.

They made it to the dining hall with no trouble, aside from the fact that Felix kept getting distracted by the little clovers that still grew up from the cracks in the sidewalk. Minho had to tug on his hand to get him to move along, but it was normal for them, Felix just saw things that no one else did and Minho was there to let Felix talk about it and ramble on about the same topic for a half hour. It just worked for them. They swiped their meal cards, stepping into line for the salad option and grabbing small plastic cups for drinks. When both had gotten a plateful of whatever caught their eyes and a glass of something sweet to drink with it, they took a seat in a far corner of the hall, dimly lit and quiet, just the occasional hustle bustle as people got up to put their trays into the wash line. They ate without talking, they didn’t need to, it was easy enough to just sit, munch down on some lettuce and chill out.

Soon enough, the pair were joined by one Hyunjin Hwang, a member of the dance crew that both Minho and Felix trained with, the tall boy also happened to be Minho’s best friend. The older pair greeted each other with over the top kisses on their cheeks, and Hyunjin sprawled in the chair next to Felix, dragging the younger boy’s head to his chest. “Ah, I missed your precious face, Lixie!” Hyunjin sighed dramatically, planting an overexaggerated kiss on the top of Felix’s blond hair.

Glaring across the cafeteria from where his head was cradled to Hyunjin’s torso, Felix spotted a figure he was 76 percent was Changbin. His eyes bored into the side of the Changbin’s face, but his friend seemed to be too enamored with his plate of tomato sauce covered noodles to look up and to the left slightly. _Stupid emo Changbin, you’re supposed to save me from this kind of thing._ But alas, his supposed best friend didn’t look, and he was left, arms flailing as he attempted to escape from Hyunjin’s death grip.

Eventually, he was released, and he reeled back, slumping in his seat. “I didn’t think you missed me that much, Jinnie,” Felix whined, reaching up to rub at his neck. Wow, Hyunjin was deceptively skinny, the older boy had more muscle than his appearance gave clue to. Rolling his eyes, Felix went back to his salad, shoving a forkful of greens into his mouth sullenly. Minho kicked him lightly under the table, smirking lightly.

“Yo, Lixie, don’t look now, but the couple of the decade just walked in.” The teasing lilt in Minho’s voice made Felix glance up from where he was munching on his lightly dressed meal. Eyes wide, Felix looks up in surprise at Minho before trying to casually — key word being trying — glance over at the entrance to the room. They were indeed here, swiping their meal cards and stepping into the first line, hands linked together, and smiles plastered over their faces.

 Groaning, Felix pushed his plate away, burying his face in his arms. Hyunjin seemingly already knew, but then again, what didn’t Hyunjin know? Jisung knew, Changbin had some semblance of a clue, and Seungmin probably had his suspicions. Felix was just grateful that both Chan and Woojin remained in the dark, oblivious to the longing looks Felix knew he gave when their backs were turned.

 Minho chuckled lightly, “So, I take it nothing’s changed in the last —” He cuts off, squinting slightly as he thinks, “Two? Or was it three months?” Lips quirked up as he raised an arm, beckoning over the two people Felix did not want to be seen in front of. “Hey, Channie! Woojin!”

Chairs screeching across the floor made Felix lift his head from where it rested on the table. Minho had scooched over towards Hyunjin, and Chan and Woojin had dragged a chair over, Woojin sitting closest to Minho, and Chan sitting in between Woojin and Felix. A hand came up, ruffling the youngest member of the group’s hair as chatter picked up. The rest of the meal seemed to pass in a blur, but all Felix could see was the absolute joy that the couple of the group seemed to radiate. He could not, should not, _would not,_ ruin that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos comments and suggestions are always appreciated! 
> 
> next chapter is going to be a bit longer than usual, and may change things up a bit idk you'll have to wait and see! 
> 
> also,, guess who made an instagram, check it out for spoilers, update alerts, and general writing things: find me @notyouricon i know, really creative


	5. cinq

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always lots of love, julian. <33.

The day passed quickly, after lunch all Felix had was a couple of hour-long classes and a lecture. Luckily for the boy, the lecture was cut short, and his classes were assigned minimal homework. Shoving his notebook into the worn backpack, he finished packing up his things, tucking his favorite pencil behind his ear. Walking up to the front of the hall, he spots a familiar figure a little way away, and, rushing to catch up, slung an arm around the younger boy’s shoulder, nuzzling his cheek against the denim jacket. “Hey, Seungmin! How was your class?”

The boy in question jumped slightly, startled by the sudden presence of his roommate. “Holy shit—", Seungmin sighed, relaxing when he realized who had snuck up on him. “Class was fine, actually really boring. How about you, Lix?”

 

“Same old, same old. Lecture got out a little early.” The shorter of the two sighed, glancing up at the younger boy before adjusting his backpack and fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. The pair continued walking, heading back to their section of the dormitories. “Is Jeongin still coming over later? I can clean up the room a little.”

 

Nodding Seungmin agreed, “Yeah, he’ll be over at like, seven? Give or take a half hour.” Jeongin was easily one of the scariest freshmen that Felix had ever met, sweet and adorable, but terrifying when he wanted to be. Cleaning wouldn’t take too long, there were just a few clothes to throw into one of the washing machines, and beds were easy enough to make. Granted, Felix was a neat person already, and so was Seungmin, and it made it easier for the pair to become close.

They made it back to the dorm soon, dropping bags by their beds and leaving their shoes on the rack by the door. From there they were a whirlwind, picking up the already neat floor and folding back the bedsheets. Seungmin vacuumed the floor rug and Felix gathered up their laundry, sorting it into piles. By seven o’clock, they were settling down with their homework in front of Seungmin’s laptop when Jeongin arrived, knocking on the door which they had left slightly cracked open. The youngest boy slipped into the room, kicking his converse off and setting his own bag down by the foot of Seungmin’s bed.

 

They sat around for the next hour, intermittently watching dumb cartoons or helping each other with homework. Jeongin eventually gave up, flopping his head into Felix’s lap, throwing his feet over Seungmin’s. “You guys are so calm, it’s a good change. Renjun never stops yelling about his idiotic friends. Or he has said idiots over.” He sighed, staring at the screen, and tapping patterns into Felix’s knee. A couple more hours passed before Seungmin started to nod off, and Felix felt like his eyes were going to fall out of his head. Shutting his textbook, he ruffled Jeongin’s hair softly, small fingers working through the thick locks deftly.

 

With slow movements, Felix slid his legs out from under Jeongin’s head, grabbing a jacket to slip under the boy in their place. Standing up, Felix smiled at the younger boys, he really did care about those two. Snatching up his pajamas, he grabbed his key card and wandered down to the bathroom to change and brush his teeth.

  
  


Waking up in the morning proved to be a difficult task for the lot of them, Jeongin had weaseled his way into Felix’s bed, trapping the older boy against the wall, Seungmin was splayed across his bed, centimeters away from falling off the edge. Well, at least it was warm, and none of them had classes until one in the afternoon, so they didn’t really need to get up at — Felix clicked his phone screen, 8:00. Why was he even up right now? He could be sleeping in, letting his arm go numb where it was pinned to his side by Jeongin’s comfortable weight.

 

Instead, Felix gently pulled his arm out from its place, sitting up ever so slowly, he didn’t want Jeongin to wake up and get grumpy, that would not be fun. Propped against the cream-colored wall, he tugged his legs up to his chest, considering his options. He could stay in bed and be hungry with no food, or he could get up and ready and then go out for coffee and breakfast. The latter seemed most appealing so as quietly as he could, he gathered up an outfit that was once again lacking in pastels and headed off to take a shower and get dressed for the day.

Shorts suited Felix’s petite size, he knew this fact quite well. It wasn’t too cold yet, and the sun was peeking through sparse cloud cover, so he deemed it safe to wear the denim cut-offs that stopped halfway between his knees and the tops of his thighs. The black sweater that he threw on over a plain white tee was definitely not stolen from Changbin.

 

Slipping out of the dorm room, Felix held his shoes to his chest before flopping into one of the common area’s armchairs, slipping them on and lacing the boots up. His toes wiggled happily, poking through the holes in his fishnets. Maybe he should wear this style more often, he forgot how free it felt.

 

Walking across campus provided a refreshing feeling, the breeze was still soft as he stepped into Niche, and he dropped his bag into the standard booth that the group usually took up, it was empty now, no one else had classes this early or even wanted to go to the café so early. Ordering his drink, Felix sat himself down, pulling out his laptop to work on his Thoreau essay.

 

_ “Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) was an American from New England who was an author poet and natural philosopher. Thoreau was a leading figure in the Transcendentalist movement which held on staying at Walden Pond, that the human connection with nature was necessary for intellectual and moral stability. Through his writings, Thoreau was able to impart his beliefs on how people should live in order to transcend the material world. By living simply and without many material goods, a person can be in the world, but not of the world.” _

 

He worked for what might’ve been an hour, maybe two and only looked up from his typing when a familiar hand ruffled his head. “Hey, Lix.” Chan. Chan smiling brightly down at him, earbuds tangled around his neck, faint music still bleeding out of them. “Mind if I join you?”

 

Felix gestured to the empty seats, “Go ahead,” He wouldn’t mind the company, and for some reason, Woojin was nowhere to be found.

 

Noticing the younger boy’s confused glance around Chan dropped into the seat on Felix’s right. “He’s in a lecture right now, figured I’d come to get coffee and well, I might as well hang out with my friend, right?” As he spoke, Chan tugged out a couple of textbooks and notebooks, setting up to do his own work next to Felix. “So, what are you working on?”

 

“Essay, about Thoreau and his work. You know, the usual boring papers.” Felix said, staring with glazed eyes at his screen. He was almost done with it, it just needed a conclusion and a couple proofreads. The chuckle that came from Chan sent a shiver down Felix’s spine, God, he couldn’t remember himself ever being  _ this  _ bad about his emotions. Looking at the little clock in the corner of his laptop’s screen Felix calculated how long he had to sit here to be polite and how long he had until his class started. About an hour and a half ‘til he had to start walking.

 

They sat in quiet, occasionally asking each other a question or two, sipping at their drinks. Felix forgot how easy it was to be with Chan, how peaceful it was. The soft music playing over the speaker system caught Felix in it, and his fingers tapped over his keyboard in time with the beat of the tune, unaware of the eyes watching him softly.

 

*`*`*`*

 

Chan found himself staring to his left, eyes tracking the younger boy’s movements with a calm sort of energy. Felix really was a smart kid, he seemed to be able to write about anything, even something as boring as Thoreau’s life, and something called the Transcendentalist Movement.

Felix was just that captivating, Chan supposed. Woojin had said something about it earlier, and now Chan just couldn’t get it off his mind.

 

He remembered meeting Felix almost down to the last detail, it had been raining when a small group of students had rushed into the library to escape the storm. Felix looked about as small as a wet puppy, hair plastered to his forehead as he clung to the arm of another boy Chan recognized as someone in the same year as him. They had attempted to dry off, another couple of boys laughing loudly at each other as one of them shook their hair out.

 

“Guys! Be a little quieter, we’re in a library.” Oh, holy fuck, that was not the voice he was expecting to hear from the small redhead. Woojin’s head popped up from where it was hidden behind a stack of books.

 

“Oh, it’s Changbin. He took Calculus II with me during the first semester.” The older of the pair informed Chan, smiling softly before raising his voice slightly. “Hey, Binnie, come sit with me and Chan!” And two became four, it could’ve been six, but the louder pair of boys ran off to some other section, talking about the latest novel by some author or another.

 

Meeting Felix for the first time had been like seeing a real, living angel. Chan felt as though he had been blessed just by talking to him, which was something he hadn’t felt since he had started going out with Woojin.

 

“Ah, hey Jinnie, it’s really coming down out there.” The hoodie-clad man said, pulling out one chair for himself and another for his friend. “Me and Lix here should’ve packed an umbrella.” He laughed, smiling over to the now seated redhead and reaching underneath the table.

 

As they continued in hushed conversation, they learned more about each other and then, it happened. Changbin pulled his hand out from under the table, fingers still laced with Felix’s, as he gestured widely. Felix only giggled, letting his hand get pulled around as it seemed Changbin had no intention of ever letting it go. “Oh, my God! Are you two dating?” Woojin’s question was excited, and Chan decided then and there that he couldn’t think of Felix like that ever again, under any circumstances. He had a boyfriend, they both had boyfriends, who just so happened to be friends.

 

Maybe he really was an angel, completely and totally unobtainable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> changlix content and chan's pov at the end? lemme know what you think! and just wait,, the next couple of chapters are gonna be real fun 
> 
> comments and kudos are always welcome!
> 
> insta: @notyouricon


	6. six virgule cinq

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, i decided to go with my gut and cause more drama, i hope y'alls enjoy this because it won't be the last of it's kind
> 
> as always, with love, julian. <33.

Saturday came with a ringing phone and an invite to go out shopping, which wasn’t turned down. As if Felix was going to pass up the chance to hang out with one of his other close friends. Eric’s call had been a bit of a surprise, but a welcome one as the pair hadn’t been able to meet up for a couple of weeks. Dressing in a well-worn turtleneck, Felix wonders whether choosing to wear a skirt would be a good idea for today, Eric did like to skateboard, but he knew that Felix wasn’t good at that kind of thing. So that probably meant that they wouldn’t be skating around. Thinking of the younger boy, even for a tiny moment had Felix grinning, eyes bright. Eric made him feel like the only person in the world, even if it was just for a few hours. Maybe Eric didn’t see him quite in the same light, but Felix truly had such a tremendous amount of admiration for the applied arts major.

 

It helped that Jisung had met the younger boy and took a liking to him, allowing them to mesh well. And the thought occurred to Felix, that maybe Eric was attainable. He went for the skirt, the pleated edges of it brushing across his midthigh, making him smile in satisfaction. Eric always said he looked best when he was happy, so why not just be happy. He checked to make sure that he hadn’t chipped the navy polish he had put on his nails last night, and with one last glance at his room was out the door.

 

Eric said they’d meet at Café Niche, so that’s where he headed, giving quick greetings to the acquaintances he passed on the way. The bell over the door rang softly as Felix walked into the establishment, eyes glancing around for his friend. It wasn’t until an arm came down around his

shoulder that Felix found him. Turning his head slowly, Felix was greeted by Eric’s grin, and let himself be guided to a booth in the back. “I already ordered for you, Lix!” The younger of the pair said, voice bright.

 

“Oh, you didn’t have to- “

 

“Yes, I did have to. Consider it a gift.” Eric cut him off, just shaking his head lightly before starting up a different conversation. Felix didn’t have to talk to be comfortable around Eric, it was like being around Jisung, just without the brotherly vibe that the older boy gave off. Felix thought that was funny, to be so close to someone but not think of them as family? It was odd but comfortable. The way his heart pounded in his chest when they got close reminded him of how he used to feel around Changbin, back before things had changed and it was sort of unsettling, but the rush was almost soothing. Felix decided he quite liked it. He liked it more than when

the same feeling pressed at his chest whenever Chan or Woojin was around.

 

They sat in the café for an hour, chattering about their classes and whatever else came to mind before deciding to head down the main street and do some window shopping. Then they’d grab dinner and Eric was very eager on insisting to walk Felix back to his dorm. Heading over to the main street pair laughed, loud and without shame.

 

“I really did miss you, Eric, it feels like we never get to see each other anymore,” Felix whined, leaning into the younger boy’s side, smiling as an arm fell over his shoulders lazily.

 

“I missed you too, Lix, more than you would ever know. It might’ve only been two weeks, but it felt like years.” The younger boy pulled away lightly, hand reaching down to clasp with Felix’s. 

“Let’s try to meet up more often, alright?” Felix nodded, cheeks heating up as he let his fingers

lace through Eric’s, this was new. So, so new.

 

Neither boy made a move to separate their hands, continuing at a slow pace down the streets. Eventually, they passed by Ink & Vinyl, the store where Felix worked. Glancing through the window, the smaller of the pair spots Minho, waving slightly as they met eyes.

*`*`*`*

 

Minho had been minding his own business, staring distractedly out the front window, it wasn’t as fun working without Felix. That’s when he saw them, Felix, and was that Felix’s one friend? Trying to pull a name from his memories Minho notices something rather odd. The boys’ hands

were tangled together, and the boy with blue hair was smiling so widely at Felix, it was almost— were they? Eyes opening just a bit wider Minho waves back at his younger friend. He was glad, Felix deserved someone who looked at him like that, someone who wasn’t in a relationship already.

 

Pulling his phone out after he watched the boys walk on, he tapped around until he found the right chatroom.

**_Not That Old IG (12:49 A.M.)_ **

**Meanieho:** guys! GuyS! GUYS!!!!!!

**Smoltoljinnie:** omg what minho????

**Meanieho:** lix,,, our son,,, our sweet summer child

**Trash Bin:** i mean, he was born in autumn but go off ig

**Damn Chaniel:** and what about our lixie? hmmm?

**Momther Bear:** ^^ yes pls share with the class minho

**Meanieho:** okay so,, i was minding my own business, and lix comes walking down the street, and i saw him out the window,,, but he had one of his friends with him? i can’t remember the name rn but i’m-

**Meanieho:** they were holding hands,, and this kid,, he was looking at felix like he hung the stars, sun, and moon in the sky… i’m 99% sure that they’re dating

 

Then it occurred to him that if Felix was getting a boyfriend, did that mean he was getting over Chan and Woojin? Or was it just something to try and distract him, at any rate, the boys looked happy and comfortable together, even if they seemed to contrast each other quite a bit. And at any rate, whoever Felix decided to date had to survive the interrogation, or more accurately, Changbin. The last kid who approached them about ‘that cute boy, who wears all the sweaters and is always reading’ didn’t fare too well with that, Changbin just about decked him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo
> 
> if y'all follow my insta i did warn about a new character~ so look where we are now, be ready, eric isn't going anywhere anytime soon! 
> 
> kudos and comments and thoughts are always appreciated they absolutely make my day! and lemme know if you catch any mistakes, i tried to fix everything but it's late so-
> 
> insta: @notyouricon
> 
> should i make a twt?


	7. sept

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, it's been a while, hasn't it? 
> 
> well, i'm back and ready to rock this joint so let's have some fun with it! keep your eyes out for new content, and mayhaps i am rebooting i need you (to shut up) if any of you have been around since those days!
> 
> as always, lots of love, julian. <33

Stopping for dinner at the small diner across campus, Felix crossed his legs under the table. He had had a lot of fun today, buying himself a book, and a new top. Eric had been all kinds of amazing, and conversation never lagged. Ordering burgers and fries, they laugh over old jokes, sharing new stories about their friends’ antics. “Kevin thought it’d be a great idea to scare Jacob, he was so wrong. Snuck up on him, got fucking tackled! I wish you could have seen it,” The soft giggles from Felix had Eric absolutely enraptured, what he would do to hear that every day of his life.

 

“Would you believe me if I told you that Changbin decided it’d be a great idea to drink a fucking melted orange popsicle? I swear that’s the most energy I’ve ever seen him have.” Felix explained, snatching up a fry and nibbling at it as he smiled widely. Eric was always so easy to get along with, and he loved it. Sure, his usual friend group was nice and all, but there was just something about the younger boy that had Felix coming back for more. Glancing down at his phone he saw the black screen and clicked it a couple of times. “Ah, sh— Eric, what time is it?”

 

“Oh, uh, almost 7:30? We should probably head back shouldn’t we?” The younger answered sheepishly, cheeks tinged with pink. At Felix’s nod, he stands, offering the elder a hand, helping the boy to stand up from the booth. They start the walk back to the dorm then, fingers clasped together neatly between them, Felix humming softly, a tune he had heard bleeding from Chan’s earbuds the other day.

 

Hopping over a crack in the sidewalk Felix stumbles, one foot catching behind the other, but before he could go tumbling to the ground a warm hand closed over his shoulder, pulling him close to help him regain his balance. With a warm face, Felix lets himself be held close, glancing up slightly. This was something new. Why did he feel like this? He already had caught feelings for Chan and Woojin, but now Eric? How did things get so damn complicated?

 

They make it back to the dorm with no further accidents, but Felix remains slightly pink, hand loosely held by Eric, who seems to be in no rush to let go. It’s only when they stand in front of Felix’s door that the younger boy speaks again. “I had a good time today, Lixie,” his voice is soft, and his free hand moves slightly, burying into his jacket pocket. “And I want to tell you why I really invited you out today, not that I wouldn’t have anyway, but — okay, here goes, Felix Lee, you are by far, one of the most amazing people I have ever met, and I’ve met a lot of people. I don’t know what it is about you, how gentle of a soul you are, how kind and smart you are, but  you have something Lix. And, I like you, a lot. More than friends should, and I invited you out today because I wanted to ask you something Lixie. I want to know if you’ll go out with me?”

 

Felix’s breath catches in his throat, Eric was a great guy, and the emotions that Felix had to him, were not simply platonic, but he didn’t expect this, even though he probably should have seen it. Knowing now that the younger liked him really made sense, the little gifts, the closeness, the way their hands were still entwined together. Glancing up to meet the other boy’s eyes Felix takes a deep breath, he knows his decision, he knows he must make the smart choice. “Can just, I don’t know, try it for a week or two? And if we’re both happy, and if we both enjoy it we can keep dating?” It was a compromise with himself, giving himself time to really decide, time to learn how to love the younger. It was probably the best option they had.

 

And maybe, just maybe, Felix could learn to really love Eric. And maybe, being with Eric would help him get over Woojin, get over Chan, because he couldn’t really have them, could he?

 

It hurt, thinking that he couldn’t be with who he loved because they were already in love with each other. It was selfish to even want to love them in the first place when they were happy without having him involved in their relationship. Two weeks, that’s all he needed, to push Chan and Woojin the back of his mind, to be happy with Eric, and if he couldn’t do it, he was sure that Eric would understand.  

 

The excited nod and cheek-splitting grin Felix gets in return seemed to make the lighting in the hall dim in comparison, and he can’t help but smile back. Maybe this would work out. “Does that mean, that at least for the next two weeks, I get to call you mine?” Although his voice was soft, almost shy, there was a large amount of emotion packed into the words, all the joy, all the relief, all the care that Eric has for Felix, though it could never be put into words, was felt in that sentence.

 

“Yes, I suppose it does, Eric.” The younger boy takes his hand out of his pocket, fingers clenched around something and Felix cocks his head in confusion.

 

“It reminded me of you,” Eric said, his voice tinged with happiness as he reveals the simple chain in his palm. The coppery chain catches the light, and the small sunburst charm that hung from the metal makes Felix gasp.

 

“Oh, Eric, you shouldn’t have, really—” Felix tried to protest, but the taller of the pair just reached behind the older, clasping the necklace around Felix’s neck.

 

“But I did,” Eric hushed, gently placing a hand gently on Felix’s shoulder, and leaning in close, pressing a soft kiss to the older boy’s freckled cheek. “Goodnight, sleep well, my darling.”

 

Felix slumped back against his door, that really happened.

 

He really said yes, he was dating Eric — of all people, one of his best friends. Plugging his phone into the charger, he waited for it to boot up, and once it did, texts and calls from all his older friends began coming through. Deciding he might as well just get it over with, he pulls up the big groupchat.

 

**uwulix:** so,, y’alls were messaging me about where i was,, and i can only assume minho started this but yes

 

**uwulix:** i got a boyfriend? you may know him we’ve been friends for a while,, but his names eric and i’ll explain more in the morning! ^-^

 

And then he clicked on his messages with Chan, staring at them for a minute before closing his phone, not ready to face the truth.

 

**baby felix <33: ** i’m so sorry channie,, i wish i could tell you  _ (unsent) _

 

His phone dinged, and he glanced at the message.

 

**biggest minHOE:** laldkfj meeting tomorrow be @ niche by 3,, bring your boy

 

Well, fuck, he forgot about this part.

 

 

 

 

`` bonus ``

woojin stared quietly at chan’s phone over the younger’s shoulder. felix has a boyfriend, someone who can love him and care for him. The spark of jealousy bubbles in his chest as he tightens his grip on his equally shocked boyfriend. this was bound to happen sooner or later, right? 

 

It just couldn’t be helped, felix would never think of the two of them that way, and it was probably for the best. but it still hurt, still made them want to scream, because an angel had slipped from their grasp, and they could do nothing about it.

 

and as much as woojin hated it, he still wanted to be close to the younger australian and knew that he would still be touchy with the boy, because he couldn’t really help himself, no matter how much it went against his morals. 


	8. huit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, folks, here it is...
> 
> have fun...
> 
> as always, with love, julian. <33.

Felix tossed his phone down beside him, smiling goofily, his boy. That had to be one of the best feelings in the world. He’d have to text Eric, ask him if he were up to meeting a few people tomorrow. Judging from what Felix knew of the group’s schedules, it would be him and the older boys, Seungmin and Jeongin both had some club or another. As far as the freckled boy was aware, Eric should be free tomorrow afternoon.

**Lovely Lixie:** hey Eric, just wanted to wish you a goodnight! and i was also wondering if you maybe wanted to get coffee tomorrow at 3? my friends want to meet you if that’s alright? <33

 

**Skater Boii:** omg hey, goodnight to you too, darling and yes,, I’d love to go for coffee and meet your friends! I’ll come by and pick you up so we can walk together around 2:30?

 

**Lovely Lixie:** yes! that sounds great, they can be a little overbearing but they really do mean well, see you soon bby !!

 

**Skater Boii:** <333

Morning came too soon for Felix’s liking as his alarm went off at 8:00, signaling the need for him to get up and go to dance practice. Thankfully, it wasn’t the class he shared with Minho or Hyunjin so he wouldn’t have to worry about them teasing him before the meeting. Swinging his legs out of the comfort of his bed, Felix grabs the set of dance clothes from where he kept them in his top drawer, changing silently so he wouldn’t wake Seungmin. Dance was the one time he didn’t have to look absolutely put together unless he was performing or auditioning. He didn’t bother with makeup, knowing he’d end up sweating it off, or just washing it away in the shower afterward.

Stepping into the mirrored studio, Felix checked the clock, ten minutes early, enough time for a bit of breakfast and a preliminary stretch. The wrapper of a protein crinkled as he shoved the now empty packaging into the trash bin before heading over to a section of mirrors, rolling his arms slightly to loosen the joints. Right, left, right again. Sliding down, Felix reaches to stretch and touch his toes, sitting on the hardwood floor, legs as far apart as he could manage and bending towards each side. Breathe in, breathe out.

In and out. In and out. In. Out.

After a couple more minutes, more members of his class began to trickle into the room, and eventually, the instructor began to lead the official warm up. With his arms and legs fully stretched and ready to move, Felix took a quick sip from his water bottle before standing in the lineup, watching the teacher move slowly across the front, blocking out each movement. Toes pointed, not quite sickled, land on the ball, turn to the right, head up. Right arm across the chest, left pointed out, palm up, fingers gentle, curving. Spin, turn, gentle on the lean. Now try it yourselves. The instructions came with a smooth voice, and Felix hung onto every word stepping out into a clear space to do the movement himself.

The instructor made his way through the group of students, gently correcting and demonstrating as he went. “Arm a little less stiff, Felix. Good. Don’t let your foot sickle, you won’t keep your balance. Let’s see it now.” The murmurs came, soft adjustments made, and Felix let his body move with the counts. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. Toe out, land, spin. Arm movements soft, gracefully pleasing. The instructor smiled in the mirror, giving Felix’s shoulder a pat. “Great, keep that up, kid.”

A half dozen turns later, the instructor called the class to assembly again, explaining the next part of the class. “As you all know by now, we’ve been learning a choreography, and I was wondering how many of you picked up on this dance style or hybrid style. Can anybody tell me what techniques we’re using?”

“Contemporary, with ballet influences?” A soft voice from the back asked, confident about the answer even though it was phrased as a question.

“Yes, Ten. That’s what we’re doing, put into the simplest terms,” The teacher continued the lecture, his voice droning on as Felix zoned out. The rest of the lesson passed quickly as the team put together the different movements they had been working on. Starting from the top the group split into designated halves, moving to the beginning formation with hardly a word from the teacher. Felix took up stance towards the middle of his group, raising his hands so that they were neatly positioned and then the counting started. Right arm down, right flank drops, left arm down, left flank down, leaving Felix standing. He brought his hand back up teasingly and then with a flicker of movement spun around on his heel, pulling off the 360-degree pivot. Dropping down, he follows the movements until they get to today’s addition, the right turn.

The class ended soon thereafter, and Felix made his way over to his duffel, checking the time as he went. 12:30, two hours until the get-together. Packing up his stuff, Felix spots Ten out of the corner of his eye, smiling widely up at who Felix could only assume was the older boy’s boyfriend. Someday he’d have something like that, but it occurred to him that he didn’t have to wait, he did have something like that. He walked home with a spring in his step and a smile that shone as brightly as the sun.

Stepping out of the shower Felix pushed his sopping hair back from his face, grabbing a towel from the hook and drying off. Skinny jeans slipped up his legs soon after, followed closely by a crop top, and then Felix turned to the mirror. His fingers moved quickly, styling his hair slightly up and off his face, and applying light foundation over his cheeks. Makeup was fun to mess with, and Felix did enjoy trying something new every once in a while. Brushes pressed over his eyelids as he smudged shadow over the skin, lip tint making his lips shine and he beamed at his reflection. Perfect.

  


Stepping back into his room, Felix grabs his phone, Eric would be around any minute to come and get him, then they’d head over to the café. Seungmin must have left while Felix was in the shower as the room was unnaturally silent. Turning on his playlist, Felix paces around the room distractedly until he heard the rapid knocking that signaled the arrival of his boyfriend. What a thought, he had a _boyfriend_.

They were walking down the sidewalk towards the coffee shop when Felix began to feel his heart rate pick up, what if his friends didn’t like Eric, what if Eric didn’t like his friends? There were so many what if scenarios in his head that he barely noticed when they slowed to a halt and Eric grabbed his hands. The smile on his face was so bright as he looked Felix in the eye, “Hey, it’s going to be okay, I’m sure everything will go smoothly.”

When Felix was properly calmed down the pair continued down the street towards their destination, hands interlocked between them. Upon arriving at the café, they stepped towards the counter and placed their orders, looking around the room for the rest of Felix’s friends. After a moment, they spot the group sitting at the back booth, Changbin with his headphones looped around his neck, Minho waving his arms around animatedly as he talks to Chan and Woojin about something, and then Jisung, smiling brightly as he spots them. “Oh my god, guys! I know him!”

That fact was true, Eric and Jisung had met before, once when Felix and Eric had been coming back from one of their shopping trips earlier on in the semester. They had also apparently had a class together last year, something to do with computer systems. Watching with curious eyes, Felix smiles as the boys all introduce themselves, passing around smiles and laughter.

“I’m Minho, Felix’s coworker, and self-appointed bodyguard—”

“No, no. That’s Changbin! I’m Jisung, but you already know that! Felix’s best friend!”

“I’m Changbin, Felix’s other best friend, and if you even think of hurting him, you’ll be sorry.”

“I’m Chan, this is Woojin, and well, I guess you could consider us people with Felix’s best interest in mind.”

They had just settled down when the bell rang at the door and a loud voice started talking rapidly, “I’m so sorry, I’m not too late am I? I didn’t miss them?” Of course, Hyunjin was late. Upon making it to the table Hyunjin threw himself over Jisung dramatically, “Please, please tell me I didn’t miss it.”

“You didn’t.” Jisung deadpanned, ruffling the older boy’s hair playfully. Felix just laughed, rolling his eyes, Hyunjin definitely suited his major. The following few minutes consisted of another introduction and the couple’s coffee coming out from the counter.

That was at least until someone asked the first question, cueing the beginning of the barrage of questions. “So, Eric, how did you two meet?”

“Oh! We met after one of the dance seminars, he offered me an extra water bottle after I forgot mine at my dorm. We just hit it off really well.”

“You dance?” Came the soft drawl from Minho, who had propped his head on his hand and was leaning across the table to listen better.

“Yeah, mostly modern and hip-hop, though I do dabble.” The reply was excited, eager almost and Felix couldn’t help but smile at it. It was true, the first thing they had bonded over was their passion for dancing.

“I knew you were familiar!” Hyunjin said, smirking softly as he sat up straighter in his seat. The chatter continued as questions were thrown around, most of the boys nodding in agreement. Each boy seemed to have a specific type of question Felix noted, Changbin’s were often about the future and planning, Minho asked about hobbies and classes, Jisung asked very trivial things, but things that he knew Felix found important. Hyunjin seemed to be interested in a lot of the who and why type questions, and Chan and Woojin, they were fairly quiet. At least until they decided to speak up.

“Eric, why do you like Lix, what is it that made you want to date him?” Chan said, voice smooth as he crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back into Woojin’s arm as it draped over the back of the younger’s chair. Felix stiffened, a little nervous as the words left Chan’s lips. Eric remained unbothered, smiling fondly as he gathered his thoughts to form an answer.

“Why do I want to date Felix? Well to start, I suppose it’s a lot about his nature, he’s very magnetic and easy to be around, he feels like home in a way. I think he’s easily one of the people who get me the best, who sees where I’m coming from so I think that if we do get into arguments we’ll be able to talk it out and find an answer that both of us can agree with. I want to date Felix because he makes me happy because when he smiles I think I’m looking at the sun on earth. He’s very special, and I want to be able to show him that.”

The table was silent for a second before Changbin leaned back smiling, “Welcome to the group then, Eric.” Hyunjin broke out into a huge cheer before anyone could even process anything else. If Changbin approved, then they knew for sure that it was a good match. They continued to chatter, sharing inside jokes and stories and making fun of each other. Felix caught Jisung’s eyes, and the smile that the younger gave spoke for the both of them, and they burst into laughter as everyone else stopped to stare in confusion at the duo.

“Can someone clue me into the twins’ thoughts?” Minho whined, still not quite used to the whole silent communication the pair seemed to have. Eric seemed to be in the same boat, looking between the two boys with a puzzled look on his face before deciding to just throw an arm around Felix’s shoulder. The interrogation had gone well, and despite some rather confusing questions (thank you, Jisung) he found that he rather enjoyed being with Felix’s friends, even if there was something odd about the other couple at the table. Eric couldn’t quite put a finger on it, but it felt as though they were doubting him, which was fair enough, he wasn’t the best person in the world.

It wasn’t that Eric wasn’t kind, or smart, or genuine, it was just that he struggled to be serious sometimes, and he knew how he came off to others, immature, sarcastic, a little blunt. But Felix liked him well enough, more than enough, hell, the older boy had agreed to date him, if only for two weeks to just try things out. Felix was by far the sweetest, most helpful, most cheerful person that Eric had ever met, and from the moment they had begun talking Eric just knew he had to be close to him, had to keep him happy and sunny.

So that’s what he did after they left the coffee shop parting with a few goodbyes with Felix’s friends, he dragged Felix around campus, savoring the autumn air while it was still there before it turned to the chill of winter. Felix seemed to be the perfect boy for him, and Eric could only hope that he was good enough to stand by his side for longer than two weeks.

 

 

*`*`*`*

 

 

Chan sighed as he collapsed onto the bed after the meeting, Woojin following suit soon after. He knew that Felix had found a good one, the boy’s answers had proved that much. Still, he couldn’t help but think that it should be him, Woojin and him, holding the boy’s hands, brushing hair out of his face, smoothing away frowns when the younger was upset. It hurt, that Felix had found someone else, even though he had never been theirs to begin with.

Chan just wished that Felix could be theirs, that the boy would look up and see them staring, see them smiling, see them wanting for the younger to feel for them what they felt for him. It had taken a long time for both of them to come around to the idea that they were both open to loving someone else, that they were both more than just crushing on Felix, they wanted him to be with them. But as long as he was happy, Chan supposed.

“Maybe he doesn’t see us, but at least we see him. I don’t know what I’d do, if I never saw Felix, I think it would be much like trying to live without the sun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> instagram is @notyouricon
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated i love getting the feedback!!
> 
> <33


	9. notation horaire

hello everybody, 

in light of recent events, i feel the need to update you on the current schedule for updates.

 

i have not updated in a while, not because i forgot about this fic, but because i have been extremely busy with other things in my life. i usually try to update every two weeks, but unfortunately, the upload date for this week fell on opening night for the musical i am in. don't worry, this will be updated next week, hopefully on tuesday. 

and another note, for the month of june, updates will be few and there may be only one until the second week of july. this is because i have summer camps throughout june that do not allow electronics. i will continue to write and hopefully will have a new fic ready aside from this one by that time. 

on my current list of wip (works in progress) we have this story, i need you (to shut up), a soulmate skz au, and a witchlix with a twist au! please look forward to them, i am working hard to make them available to you guys!

 

with love as always, julian. <33.


	10. neuf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we go folks, it's a little late and for that i am really really sorry.
> 
> i'm not sure what you'll think of the start of the first arc of this story, but anyways let me know! i love hearing from you guys, even if i don't respond in the comments i still read every single one!
> 
> as always, with love, julian. <33.

Felix made it through Wednesday without a hitch, meeting up with Eric every once in a while, when they were in the same area for coffee or just to sit down and study for a little while. Felix attended his Tuesday chemistry tutoring session, sitting through an hour of studying and relearning different terms, formulas, and definitions. He almost forgot he had a shift at the bookstore that afternoon, and Eric rushed them over to the shop, leaving Felix with a soft kiss goodbye, giggling against each other’s mouth.

 

Minho leaned against the counter, smirking as he watched the pair wish each other goodbye, he had only mild concern on Felix’s part, especially with his knowle dge of the younger boy’s feelings. “You two are adorable, you should know.” He stated, he thought for a moment before phrasing his next words, “But, are you sure this is what you want, Fe?”

 

Turning to walk back to the counter, Felix bites at his lip. It was two weeks, just two weeks, to see if he really could get over Chan and Woojin. He knew there could be something with Eric, even if it took a little while for his heart to fully realize it. “I think so, it seemed like the right choice. Eric’s a great guy, and I know that I can love him. It just takes time.” He said, nodding at the end of his sentence, he couldn’t help but worry. There were just so many things that could go wrong; he didn’t want to ruin what he had.

 

Recognizing that the younger probably didn’t want to talk about it more than necessary, Minho leaves it be, not bugging about the topic through their shift, rather choosing to discuss classes and such. Deeming lunch necessary, they leave the bookstore to the people on next shift, Jaebum, and Sungjin. The walk to the cafeteria goes without hitch, and they laugh and joke around on the way. “No way, that boy must’ve sold his soul for the chance to go on even one date with Jinyoung. Jinyoung doesn’t date  _ anyone _ . Though I could’ve sworn Jaebum has a thing for him—” The pair is cut off by a firm body slamming into them.

 

“Save me, please!” Jisung cries, clinging on tight to Felix’s shoulders, “Changbin is out to get me, it’s the end, we’re all doomed!”

 

“What did you do this time, squirrel?” Minho said, rolling his eyes at the overly dramatic boy. “Hyunjin is really rubbing off on you, isn’t he?”

 

“Shut up! Changbin is after me, I may have called him a hoodie emo, but it’s not like it’s a lie! Right?”

 

“Well, I can’t say he isn’t but I’m sure he’d rather be called just an emo, don’t limit the guy's options, Sunggie.” Felix quipped shoulders weighed down by the older boy. “Also, aren’t you forgetting something?”

 

“What?”

 

“Changbin isn’t just any emo, he’s a very rare species, one that actually can enjoy human interaction,” Minho said, swiping his card and grabbing a tray for his dishes. “Do your research, kiddo.”

 

“Who are you calling kiddo!”

 

The lunch hall barely paid the vaguely offended shriek a glance, too used to this kind of behavior from the small group. Instead what they got was a grumbling Changbin shuffling up to them, stopping momentarily to flick Jisung’s forehead before leaning against Minho slightly, pushing him to the side in greeting. “Hey, Binnie!”

 

“Lixie, hey there,” Changbin muttered fondly, reaching a hand over to ruffle the younger boy’s hair, smiling as the Felix leaned into the touch ever so slightly. Lunch was always eventful, so they might as well relish in what little peace they had; which wasn’t much as Hyunjin joined them, dragging along a pouting Jeongin.

 

“Look who I found!” The tall male said, slinging an arm around the youngest’s neck as he whined, struggling to get away. Grabbing his own tray, Felix joins Minho in looking at the meal options, eventually deciding on a salad with a chicken sandwich. Dropping the food off at the table, he makes his way across the room, stopping at the drink area and grabbing one of the premade smoothies.

 

“Jeongin, don’t let Hyunjinnie bully you,” Felix said, sliding into his seat across from Jisung, Changbin to his right. Almost by instinct, Changbin’s foot linked itself around Felix’s ankle, making the younger boy’s lips turn up slightly at the corners.

 

“Oh, I won’t, he’s just being a baby.” Jeongin smiled, leaning into Minho’s side happily, he seemed to be rather sandwiched between Hyunjin and Minho, nibbling occasionally at the veggie wrap on his own tray.

 

Conversation flowed easily as the group caught up with each other, exchanging stories and making plans for the next couple of weeks. “So, Felix, what’s your dare for the week?” Hyunjin asked, tapping perfectly shaped nails on the table as he leaned away from Jeongin and more into Jisung instead.

 

Jisung started to snicker, “High heels, again. Friday through Monday.” Felix sighed, it was an easy dare, which is probably why Jisung chose it. It also meant that Felix would finally be as tall as most of his friend group; that was one of his favorite parts of heels. At everyone’s mutual protests and groans about how unfair it was, Felix just smirked, leaning back in his seat.

 

 

On Thursday, Felix left the lecture hall only to be greeted by a bubbly boy, hair freshly dyed a pleasant shade of blue. “Eric! Hey!”

 

“Hi, Lixie, I thought I’d drop by, haven’t seen you since Wednesday,” It was true, even though they texted each other more often now, it wasn’t the same as being next to each other. They carried on in a fashion unique to the pair, Felix walking slowly, taking in the fresh air, Eric bouncing at his side, ever eager for an adventure. “Can I teach you to skate? As in skateboard? You don’t have to if you don’t like though!”

 

Felix hesitated, skating wasn’t exactly something he was good at, and practicing was how you got better, that he knew, but he wasn’t sure. Bargaining with his brain, Felix nods, nibbling his lip. “You can try, I doubt I’ll be any good.”

 

It took them about ten minutes to get to the skating park, the cement structures felt cool under Felix’s palms as he leaned back watching Eric glide smoothly down a ramp and into the halfpipe.

 

“It’s not too hard, just keep your arms out to your sides to start, balance is key.” The skidding sound of wheels slowed to a stop in front of Felix, who accepted the hand he was offered. “Right or left foot forward?”

 

“Right,” Felix says, stepping up onto the board, glad that they were starting on a flat surface and not an incline.

 

“Cute, you skate goofy.”

 

“What?”

 

“Right foot forward, it’s called goofy. I don't know many people who ride that way,” Eric explained, keeping a firm grip on Felix’s hands as the older boy situated himself on the deck. “Looks good, now gently push off with your back foot.”

 

Following the instruction he was given, Felix pushes off, not strong enough the first kick, but by the third, he managed to build enough power to get himself moving. The feeling of wind pushing his hair back made him smile, maybe this wasn’t so bad. Felix didn’t even realize when Eric let go of his hands.

 

“Lean back, with your hips!” Eric called out, and Felix followed, picking up on the movement easily. Bending his knees, Felix turns slightly, glancing back for a moment to look at Eric. What he saw made him frown, there was a look of concern on the younger man’s face, and he seemed to be about to call out. Felix realized why a moment too late.

 

The boy had shifted his back foot too far down the board, causing the tail to scrape over the ground, throwing Felix off balance, tossing him to the ground. As he made contact with the cement, Felix could feel the sharp sting of skin breaking, his knees burning as they collided, arms flying out to catch himself.

 

“Felix! Oh, my god! Lixie, baby? Are you okay? Of course, you aren’t, you just launched yourself off the board — holy shit!” Eric fussed as he ran over, feet pounding into the pavement. Felix sat up, cradling his hands to his chest, refusing to let the tears fall but a stubborn, persistent quiver of his lips gave away his feelings.

 

“Er— Holy—” Felix manages, letting the younger man pull his hands out, assessing the damage. By the time Felix manages to go through what just happened, Eric is pulling out a bag from his backpack, and from that bag, he tugs bandages and antiseptic. Snatching up a water bottle, Eric hushes his boyfriend, voice soft.

 

“This is going to sting a little, but it’ll feel better in just a moment, baby.” The cold shock of water makes Felix sigh softly, but before he can process it, there’s a stinging on his palms as Eric applies the antiseptic. “There, there, you’re okay.”

 

Once his hands were bandaged, Felix was directed to sit back and allow the same treatment on his knees. “Poor baby, I’m so sorry, I never meant for you to get hurt.” Despite the pain, Felix feels his heart swell, he feels so cared for, so comfortable, so loved. It’s a good feeling he decides, he would love to feel it more.

 

Once Felix is standing again, Eric collects his board and begins to lead the elder back to the dorms. “Well, it wouldn’t be gentlemanly of me to not walk you back to your dorm, especially after that accident.”

 

Walking together, Felix realizes, that was the longest stretch of time where he didn’t actively or passively think of Woojin or Chan. He really let them go for that blissful hour, he moved on, just a little. A spark of hope flickered in his chest, maybe this would work out. Maybe he could make everyone happy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> instagram: @notyouricon
> 
> kudos and comments are always appreciated, pls pls pls give me the feedback i love hearing it!


	11. dix

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's been a month, or two. Sorry for not being active on this story for a little while, I got super sidetracked during the beginning of June through to Mid-July. And then it was just a matter of finding time to edit, which speaking of, if you find any mistakes let me know and I'll fix them right up!
> 
> Make sure to read the end notes too! There's gonna be a question down there for y'alls to answer, which you can do through twitter! 
> 
> Alright, a final big thank you to my beta reader, Milo, for giving me awesome feedback! 
> 
> Love you all lots, Julian.

After being escorted under a watchful eye back to his dorm, Felix kisses Eric goodbye at the door, smiling softly. “I’m okay, really, I am!” He reassures, gently poking the younger boy’s nose as they share a small smile.

“Oh, hey guys! Actually, I was wondering if I could talk to you, Eric, for a moment? About the project?” Seungmin says, raising an eyebrow at the blue-headed man, who nods slowly, “Great! Oh, Lix, your laptop kept going off, I think you have a few emails.” With wide eyes, Felix nods, curious about what project the pair could need to talk about, as far as he was aware they weren’t involved in any classes together, but he could be mistaken. Maybe it was one of the applied art classes.

Flopping onto his bed, Felix looks at his laptop hoping it was just notifications from his blog, but it could be an email from his literature analysis professor, she always seemed to need clarification on his assignments. Skimming through the tabs, Felix finds the site he was looking for, the small red notice circle bright on the icon.

**LEE_2000_CHERRY HAS THREE NEW SUBMISSIONS AND TWO NEW DIRECT MESSAGES.**

**VIEW COUNT: 2097 |REFRESH|**

**NEW LIKES: 483 |REFRESH|**

**COMMENTS: 505 |MARK ALL READ|**

**SUBMISSION #1; VIA JAE_MIN_NEO**

**[IMAGE ATTACHED]**

**Nothing like strawberries and cream!**

**SUBMISSION #2; VIA MOON_UNDER_SKY**

**Meaningful words carry weight,**

**Take care in the ones you say,**

**Some people cannot handle the pressure.**

**SUBMISSION #3; VIA JOON_N_JIN4**

**Made some new friends on our walk to the park!**

**[IMAGE ATTACHED]**

**DIRECT MESSAGES BETWEEN LEE_2000_CHERRY & ROCKY_STAR**

**ROCKY_STAR:**

**omgomgomg did you see the update!!!???**

**please tell me you have, it’s so so sooooo good! whoever runs this channel has like, mad skill!**

**LEE_2000_CHERRY:**

**no, i haven’t seen it yet, but im about to go watch it don’t worry!**

Closing out of the tab, Felix quick checks his email, nothing, thank goodness. Seungmin steps back into the room quietly, going instantly to his bed and flopping down. It was quiet, blessedly so, the only sound being the soft tapping of fingers on phone screens, and Felix occasionally typing as he posts the submissions. Getting up from the bed, Felix grabs his pajamas, slipping them on quickly as he grabbed his toothbrush and face wash. Heading into the bathroom, Felix finished up his nightly routine.

Soon he was standing face to face with his closet, the heels challenge would begin tomorrow, and he chose a cute pair of pastel pink pumps, just enough heel to count. Nabbing a sweater out of the closet, he compares it to the shoes, smiling happily when they match. Snatching up the pair of short jean overalls, Felix decides that it’d be quite the look, he could find some cute bandages in his collection to wear on his scrapes as well.

Seungmin makes sure he’s fast asleep before he sends off the text.

**From Seungminnie; To Channie, Woojin, Minty, BinBin, Hyunjinnie, JiJi, Innie**

Eric couldn’t deny it, be ready for damage control.

Across campus seven phones went off simultaneously, each message read with a grimace and rage.

*`*`*`*`*

He walked into class the next morning, fingers laced through Eric’s a bright smile on his face. Chan could only sit and watch as they kissed goodbye at the door. How did he not see it before, that Eric was too good to be true? The small pastel bandages on Felix’s knees caught his eye, Chan couldn’t help but worry about the younger, he was always getting up to something. The burn of jealousy in his chest wasn’t unfamiliar and Chan greeted it as an old friend when it came to Felix, he was definitely jealous of those who got to be near him. Hell, at one point he was jealous of Changbin, one of his closest friends, simply because he was dating Felix. It was honestly kind of ridiculous, but he really did care about Felix, so much.

As the younger boy joined him in the rows of seating in the hall, they chattered Felix sharing the story behind the bandaged scrapes on his knees. “It’s really nothing, Channie, just a couple scratches! I fell down yesterday, Eric was teaching me how to skateboard.” That was what got Chan angry, Eric took Felix skateboarding and didn’t give him any safety equipment, and then let him fall? Pushing back the bubbles of emotion that swelled in his chest, Chan wraps an arm around Felix’s shoulders, smiling.

“Well, did you have fun at least?”

“Tons!”

Then the lesson started, and Chan shut up because he was just lucky he got to share an elective class with Felix, which he totally hadn’t planned. Literature analysis totally worked into his history degree, right?

*`*`*`*`*

The bell over the door chimed brightly as Chan and Woojin stepped into the bookstore. Minho had asked them to come around, claiming he was desperately lonely without another employee in the store and no customers. They found him leaning against a counter, nearly completely sprawled over the surface, phone in hand, not another soul in sight. He only sat up slightly to glance at the couple before letting his head fall back.

“Min, why the hell are we really here? You don’t look lonely at all, actually I think you’d be fine without us here.” Woojin said, raising an eyebrow, why did he always befriend the dramatic ones?

“Because the two of you like Felix.” The sentence was stated so firmly, and both of the older boys were left spluttering, blinking in shock at the sharp-tongued student. “It’s not a lie, is it? You like him, it’s painfully obvious.”

“Yeah, we do, but what does that have to do with anything?” Chan asked, looking quizzically at Woojin. This was abrupt, out of the blue, a real turn of events. “It’s not like we’re going to do anything about it, he’s got a boyfriend, a shitty one, who gets him hurt, and doesn’t appreciate him, but a boyfriend nonetheless.”

“Why couldn’t you guys just fucking speak up? You’re losing him, and you aren’t even trying to get him back! You won’t even try.” Minho said voice tinged with disbelief, with anger, with worry. He knew how bad things were getting, he knew both sides of this story. He just couldn’t see why they wouldn’t tell Felix.

“He’s happy, happier than he’d be with us.” Woojin chimed in, voice low, almost as though he were mourning the lost opportunity, the loss of Felix.

“And that, my dear friend, is where you’re absolutely fucking wrong. Felix isn’t happy, he’s confused and scared and trying his best to take care of himself.” Minho bit out, jaw clenched. “Which he’s doing a shit job at, you should know.”

“The hell are you trying to imply? Felix is fine without us, he doesn’t want us.”

“I thought you were smarter than that, Chan. Can’t you see it? He does want you, he isn’t fine, he’s hiding, and he’s going to get hurt.”

The looks of realization that crossed Chan and Woojin’s faces were nearly simultaneous. If what Minho was telling them was true, then that would mean Felix didn’t like Eric, was forcing himself into a relationship he didn’t want. Which was both a good thing and a bad thing, they didn’t want their baby hurting, not how they knew he would be if what Seungmin had informed them about was true. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twitter: notyouricon ( https://twitter.com/notyouricon )  
> Twitter poll can be found at the above address, don't be shy!  
> Instagram: notyouricon  
> As always leave your thoughts in the comment section, scream at me on twitter or instagram, and stay safe, happy, healthy, and hydrated!


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